


Longing

by mittamoo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Introspection kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 23:05:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mittamoo/pseuds/mittamoo
Summary: Aaron still loves him, there's a part of him that always will he thinks. He doesn't know if love makes everything else worth it.





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> So the idea for this hit me on a walk home and well here it it

It happens in the portacabin. It’s been three months since the split and if Aaron is being completely honest with himself he’s in a better place for it, he’s even been on more civil- friendly even, terms with Robert that past two weeks or so. Which is why he isn’t as surprised as he probably should be when Robert leans in and tries for a kiss. When he does Aaron’s whole world freezes around him, because there’s a part of him, he thinking there will always be at least a small part of him that longs for this. A part of him that longs to grab onto Robert, the man he’s loved for three years and never let go. That longs to have the life with Robert that was promised of their wedding day and that part of him is screaming for Aaron to lean in and kiss him.

After all, their relationship wasn’t all bad, Robert had made him happy hadn’t he? Yes, Robert had made him happy. Then another larger part of him reminds him that those periods of happiness were brief and a large portion of those based in lies and shadowed in the weight of betrayal. He remembers how Robert can and will move from loving words to spitting poison at him tearing him apart until he’s raw and bleeding and his finger itch to tear into himself. He remembers that Robert cheated more than once, and in every occasion twisted it so that the blame was at least partially on him. He remembers that while being with Robert had brought him some of the happiest times in his life, that he was also responsible for bringing Aaron to devastating lows far more often. Aaron still loves Robert after everything and maybe he shouldn’t but he does. But it, them?

Well, it just isn’t worth it. So Aaron takes a step back.

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! feedback is always welcome :)


End file.
